The penis of Tyler

I have been off of the BNL cruise ship for a week now, but my legs are still wobbly and certain sounds and images won’t go away:


The casino dealer, offering up “insurance” before testing the ace of spades in the little blackjack-tester.  “Sorry,” says the casino dealer.

The breakfast buffet, at first a cornucopia of colorful fruits, tasty sausages, and omelette-chefs in klan hats.  Yes I’ll take a fresh plate for my next trip.  But by the end merely a monotonous line-up of diarrhea suspects — was it you CRACKLE? et tu, SNAP?  — I suppose the Rice Krispies are blameless but the scrambled eggs get my squinty eye. 

The voice of Ed, several times a day over the in-cabin PA system, louder than a truck dropping a piano in a PT Andersen film, reminding me of all the recreational opportunities on the vessel.  Reminding me that I shouldn’t be napping.  Reminding my two year old that she shouldn’t be napping either.  Lazy!  If only the words that he were speaking were less funny, I could be mad at him. 

The penis of Tyler, and this is something that we all share, Ships & Dip 4-ers.  Because while technology and D.F. Yonkman make it possible for anyone to experience the cruise ship from the rhea-free comfort of our homes, the actual, uncensored, bouncing-fruit-and-nuts of a 43 year old man is something we, and only we, have to celebrate.  L’chaim!

Tyler Streaks Guster from Dead Elm on Vimeo.

And while we’re on the subject, please revisit this modern day Yonkman classic from 3 years ago on a Thundergod-free boat:

Jojo’s Birth - Live Via Satellite | SD3 from Dead Elm on Vimeo.

3 years ago |